Young, queer & caring for family.

Angeline (they/she) is a 17 year old living in Toronto with her mom and brother. They are a competitive swimmer and an aspiring playwright. Angeline is passionate about social justice issues. 

Cancer has been a part of my life since I was 9 or 10 years old. My mom was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer, along with thyroid cancer. A few years after her diagnosis, one of my grandmothers was diagnosed with skin cancer, and then my other grandmother, who lives in France, was diagnosed with colorectal cancer. Having cancer on both sides of the family means I have a greater risk of developing cancer.  

I’ve known cancer for what feels like my whole life. As I grew up, I felt I had to be more cautious, more safe, more considerate than kids my own age. I felt I couldn’t be as carefree because I had to take care of my family. I have a younger brother who was only two when our mom was diagnosed, so I have the responsibility of taking care of him.

For years, I have been participating in cancer community groups for kids whose parents have cancer. It’s a space where we all have something in common. We talk about cancer and how to manage stress. But no one could quite relate to me and all of my experiences. 

As I got older I realized that perhaps one reason I felt somewhat different was because I am queer. I joined my high school GSA (Gender Sexuality Alliance) to be part of a supportive community. However, we usually talk about equity related issues that are important to the queer community and allies at school. At the cancer support groups, we talk about cancer, and at GSA we talk about being gay, but no one talks about what it’s like to be both. And both are a part of me every day. 

Both groups are valuable and useful, but there is an aspect missing- intersectionality. Where do I fit in? I don’t have cancer, but I’m at a higher risk of getting it because of my family history. I’m not a caregiver. But I care for my family and for myself. What space is there for people like me? Is it just a gray area, or will something new emerge? 

How do I advocate for my needs for safe and inclusive spaces that support young people like me who are queer, caring for themselves and their families and have a higher risk of developing cancer? 

I am sharing my story in hopes that it will inspire others to take action. I want to support other queer kids like me to bring all parts of our identities to groups so that we might feel less alone.

Angeline and their mother Michelle.