Redefining life after diagnosis
Farrah Khan discusses systemic health disparities and how her diagnosis profoundly changed her perspective on life and priorities.
Farrah Khan a queer, racialized mother and gender equity consultant and the executive director of Action Canada for Sexual Health and Rights who was diagnosed at 44 with two cancer; an aggressive, rare small cell cervical cancer and, a month later, breast cancer.
In the TVO video interview with host Nam Kiwanuk Khan recounts deeply traumatic and discriminatory experiences within the healthcare system, including homophobic and dehumanizing treatment during invasive procedures, lack of trauma-informed care, inadequate communication, and systemic gaps worsened by healthcare underfunding. She reflects how her identities, history of child sexual abuse, and prior medical mistreatment shaped her responses to illness, often forcing her to numb herself to survive homophobic treatment.
Khan also discusses the experience of being dehumanized, as a queer person, as a woman and as a person of colour:
“And when he started the procedure of scraping and taking out a part of my body, which is going— you know, to take out the tissue, I said, you know, “Can I— can I still have children?” That was my big fear. Can I still have children?” And he looked at me and said, “Well, you’re a lesbian, so you should just adopt.” And you’re so vulnerable at that time. You’re alone because they don’t want somebody in the procedure with you, because it’s not treated as something that’s serious. And this is what we see consistently. Women’s bodies, women’s health, women’s pain is not taken seriously. And I think, especially, as a racialized woman, we are expected to hold pain differently. And there’s all kinds of research about it, especially around Black women and Indigenous women. So, I think, in those moments, the dehumanization is so clear.”
Despite profound grief Farrah found strength in community support, humour, and a renewed commitment to living fully:
“So, I’m here, and I’m trying, and I’m alive. I’m going back to work, whatever that looks like. I’m holding my son’s hand in the sun … I want to hold my spouse’s hand. I want to slow dance with them. But how am I doing right now? I’m clear scans for the first time...which I don’t know what to do with. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop when I get excited about life again. On the other hand, I’m excited about life. So, how am I doing? I’m alive.”
In the accompanying image – Farrah Khan, right, and her spouse Kristyn Wong-Tam are pictured at a hospital appointment.
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